The Black Limo NOTE: The tale you're about to read happened to a friend of someone, who told it to me. I thought it was interesting enough to pass along, as I am not a story writer! Gonzo, I am sure will like this one!
It had been a hellish day. It was very hot, very long, and full of hassles. Big time hassles. It seemed like nothing went right. One step forward, two steps back. The day had finally ended and Abbott was glad it was over. He was heading home at last. The air conditioner felt good on his neck, and his thoughts were on dinner. Just as his mind was wandering over the trials and tribulations of the day, something caught his eye up ahead. There was a limo on the side of the road with the trunk open. 'Broken Down?' Abbott thought. As he got nearer to it, he wondered why limos never showed up at the door of the shop where he worked. 'They probably have special garages that work on them. Places that are specially set up to handle them.' He envisioned special lifts that would have huge arms to reach out and hold the massive frames. He imagined special service bays a mile long. 'Should he stop?' he asked himself. That's when the little devil and angel fight begins.
Abbott has been caught in the middle of battles of the angel and devil most of his adult life. The devil touts him to do something that is usually naughty or mischievous. The angel is his conscience, and usually keeps Abbott out of trouble. The little devil jumps out onto his shoulder and says, 'Abbott! Hey, don't stop. They're rich. They probably have their personal tow truck on the way. Or maybe there's a helicopter on the way. Don't waste your time. It's nice and cool in here. You don't want to go back out there in that scorching heat. Sit tight!' Now it's the angel's turn. 'Abbott, they could be in trouble. There might be a good reason why you should pull over and offer help. Be a good Samaritan and see why they are on the side of the road. Go ahead. A mechanic is never off duty. Go for it!' The angel usually won. And this time, Abbott had no trouble listening to the advice of the angel. He pulled his pickup truck onto the shoulder behind the limo and got out.
The driver, dressed in a nice suit, also got out. By the time Abbott had walked up to the back of the limo the driver greeted him saying in a British accent, 'Sir! Thank you for stopping! You are most appreciated. I have no knowledge of how to change a tire. Is it possible that you could lend some assistance in this regard?' 'Why sure', Abbott replied as he rolled up his sleeves. The trunk was already open. Abbott reached inside and removed two golf club bags full of clubs. Then he removed the mat and the spare tire cover, revealing the spare and jack. 'Oh, that's where it is hidden. I would not have known that this is the place where it is kept-unless you had showed me,' said the driver with an amazed expression on his face. Abbott took out the scissors jack and began looking under the limo for the proper place to position the jack. 'I wonder if this jack can handle this huge car?' he worried silently to himself. But, the jack held, and the limo began to go upwards as he turned the crank. 'Now, it's time to break loose the lug nuts--before the tire is in the air,' he instructed the driver. Pulling with his back, legs and both arms, he loosened each of the five lug nuts a half turn. Next, he placed the spare tire under the limo. 'I do this in case the jack falls. The spare tire will keep the limo from crashing down--maybe on top of me and you!' The driver nodded with wide eyes.
In a matter of a couple of minutes he had all of the lug nuts loose and the flat tire was laying on the ground. He swapped places, putting the flat under the limo and the spare in its place. First Abbott tightened the lug nuts finger tight, and then snugged them home with the tire iron. He carefully lowered the vehicle, putting its weight down onto the spare. To finish it off, he gave the lug nuts one final tightening. As he did, he pointed out how he followed a star pattern as the sequence to tighten them. The driver nodded and was impressed. Just then, there was an electric whirring sound. One of the rear windows in the back of the limo slid open and someone inside called out to the chauffeur. Abbott was startled. He had no idea that anyone was actually inside the vehicle. The driver walked over to the person beckoning him and stuck his head into the open window. Abbott could hear muffled voices. Then, the driver pulled his head out, stood up, and motioned for Abbott to come over.
More out of curiosity than anything, Abbott walked up to the open window. A well dressed man sitting inside smiled at him through the window. 'Sir, what is your name? I want to offer you a reward for your gallant actions.' The man reached inside his coat and took out his wallet. Abbott said, 'No thanks. Not necessary. Just doing my civic duty. Think nothing of it.' The man said, 'I insist. Please let me pay you for your time.' Abbott replied, 'Naw. But if you want to do something nice, just send my wife some flowers. She'll get a kick out if it.' The man passed a slip of paper and a fancy gold pen out the window to Abbott and he gave him his wife's name and address. Then he got back into his pickup truck and headed home.
By the time he pulled into his driveway, he had completely forgotten about the whole incident. It was a few days later, at work, when Abbott got a phone call. 'It sounds like your wife is really upset, Abbott. Better get up here fast. This really sounds serious,' said the boss. As Abbott picked up the phone, he could hear his wife shouting and screeching in a shrill voice. In their twelve years of marriage, he had never heard her make sounds like this. In a calming voice, Abbott pleaded with her to settle down and tell him what was wrong. He was embarrassed that the people in the front office might hear her shrieking. Finally, she calmed down enough for Abbott to make sense with what she was saying. She said that a man had come up to the door and delivered two dozen beautiful long-stem roses. Just then, Abbott remembered the man in the limo. He had completely forgotten about the incident alongside the road. In a voice that would best be described as frantic, she continued, 'Let me tell you what happened.' Abbott said, 'Hold your horses and calm down. Now talk to me!' 'Well, this man came to the door--a delivery man. He had the flowers. I was SO surprised and stunned that it was happening to me. I was maybe just a little concerned-that maybe I forgot something like our anniversary or something-when he pulls out this clipboard.''
And it has this envelope stuck on it. He takes out the envelope and hands it to me, and says, 'I have been instructed to give you these flowers and this envelope. I have also been instructed to make sure that you have read the contents of the envelope and thoroughly understand what is written on this document.' 'That really threw me for a loop', she went on, 'and I didn't know what to think.
So I opened the envelope to see what was inside and there was this note.'We were late to a very important meeting and had a flat tire. Our driver had no idea of how to change a tire. We summoned help, but it would arrive much too late. Because of your husband's wonderful and gallant efforts, we were able to reach our destination in time. Marla and I would like to show our appreciation by sending these roses. Also, as a token of my appreciation, please examine the attached document. It will explain that the mortgage on your house has been paid off. Sincerely, Donald Trump'Epilog. When I first heard this story, I was envious. Now, I find myself looking alongside the highway for a broken down black limo!
